GAME CASA .NET

There was a time in my younger days when I would buy absolutely anything with Sonic’s blue visage stamped on it: video games, comic books, even T-shirts with jokes that went over my head. In retrospect, this spending habit led to many rather poor purchase decisions, with Wacky Worlds probably chief among the worst. I spent $60 on this piece of shit when it came out simply because Sonic was on the cover. But, like a seasoned drug addict scavenging for a new fix, I needed something fresh — something that could recreate the sheer ecstasy of playing through the first few games of the series for the first time.

Well, Sonic Adventure didn’t quite do it. The series was a little late to the going-3D party, unless you count that awful racing game for the Saturn. (I don’t.) I was happy to see Sonic make the next-gen jump, but I had no interest in collecting chaos or girlishly hitting things with mallets. I just wanted to go fast. To me, Sonic Adventure was like drinking flat diet soda: tastes like shit, but I would have enjoyed it more if I had it earlier.

But, thankfully, every subsequent game in the series felt like an improvement. Still, the franchise has never quite recovered. Sonic Adventure 2 just inspired more erotic Dr. Robotnik* fan fiction, Shadow the Hedgehog was the lamest thing I’ve ever seen, and turning Sonic into a werewolf didn’t exactly make me howl with delight.

I bet I’m the first one to make that joke.

But, finally, it looks like we all may be getting a real Sonic game. Here’s the trailer for Episode 1 of Sonic the Hedgehog 4, released just last night to much adulation:

*I hope I never see the phrase “erotic Dr. Robotnik” ever again.

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