Remakes and Reboots: The Silent Killer
March 8, 2010 in TurdPress by JerseyJosh
How many of us have games from back in the day that are really close to the heart and become part of our dreams at some point in our life to the point where we spend every bit of every day hoping for news upon a sequel. We sit, like an Army Wife, waiting for any bit of information that might be posted on gamecasa.net, gamespot.com, ign.com joystiq.com , or if you were online in the 90′s, the Prodigy video game message board. Often we want to be a part of the continuing story of our favorite characters. Then one day, we come across a headline that catches our eye:
(Insert your favorite game here) to be remade with better graphics on next generation system!!
Now I know people work hard on these games, but really. Who gives a shit. Who gives a fuck. Yes, it is interesting to see how a game can change with better hardware and better graphics and more space, but come the fuck on. We know how the game is going to end. We know who betrays the hero, who ends up with who, and half the lines in the damn game. This a specific formula to this trend that creates that certain rage in a gamer’s bloodstream.
Here are some examples of what might qualify:
Double Dragon: The one I am referring to here is the NES game series released in 1987. It had two sequels, one released in 1988, the next in 1990. Then there were two more sequels, Super Double Dragon in 1992, and Double Dragon V in 1994. Technos, the company who owned the franchise, died out soon after. In 2003, Altus, the current copyright owners of the franchise put out a remake of the original game in 2003 for the Game Boy Advance. Now perhaps there is no room for a simple beat-em-up game. Games such as Viewtiful Joe, God Hand, and Mad World are modern releases which get fairly positive reviews. Done right, a new Double Dragon game could be a big seller.

The Lunar Series:




Seriously. Four versions of the same game. Originality fails.
I’ll set the scene. I’m in 9th grade in February 1994 when a huge fuck off blizzard dumps snow and ice over the Delaware Valley. My mom, foreseeing school being canceled for days, goes to Blockbuster and rents me a Sega CD and some games. One of these games was Lunar: The Silver Star. She was a bitch I fell hard for. I bought my own Sega CD, and waited two years for Lunar 2: Eternal Blue to come out. Back then, Lunar 3 was a certainty. Working Designs President Victor Ireland confirmed it multiple times in the books of their games. But the company went in another direction, and decided that The Silver Star would be reissued for the Sega Saturn. So of course, I went out and got a Sega Saturn. Only the game didn’t come out for Sega Saturn. It was instead moved to PSOne. Which I did not have. Both remakes for Lunar 1 and 2 arrived on PSOne. The Silver Star was remade for the Game Boy Advance in 2001 and received yet another remake last week when Lunar: Silver Star Harmony was released for PSP. The game does show off some nice visuals, but takes all of its cut scenes from the PSOne editions and there’s that whole “we already know the goddamn story” thing.
Chrono Trigger: The original Chrono Trigger was the third best selling video game of 1995. It was bright, innovative, and was one of the first games ever to make use of multiple endings. It was also the first game where players could utilize “New Game +”, where a player could begin a new game with all the abilities, items and weapons they collected during their previous run through of the game. In 1999, Square released Chrono Cross for PSOne. It was the sequel to Chrono Trigger and featured alternate worlds and 45 playable characters. Despite being ranked high on multiple lists of games we want more sequels to, Square has only released remakes of Chrono Trigger. Once in 2001, which featured new anime cut scenes, and again in 2009, which included the cut scenes from the PSOne version. In 2003, a small studio tried to remake Chrono Trigger for the N64 and then Gamecube, but was issued a cease and desist order by Square. Damn legal stuff. The game would have fit the acceptable standard for an ok remake. Below is a trailer for what could have been.
There are plenty of franchises which constantly get remade without much desired sequels. The last console Contra game was in 2004. It’s been 11 years since Earthworm Jim was seen for a major system. I could go on. And there are studios which finally get their act together and give the fans what they want. The recent Bionic Commando game received favorable reviews. The old school Mega Man games being released on Wii Ware are a nice gesture, but I am betting gamers want to see how the Mega one would fare on a current generation system with multiplayer action. The powers that be seem to think remakes are simply test subjects to determine whether or not a sequel should indeed be made. The Vice President of Square Enix has even blamed the low sales of Chrono Trigger DS as why a new game with a new story should not be made. I wonder what the word for Dickwad is in Japan. So for every new Metroid, Castlevania, and Sonic sequel, there is a potential Kid Icarus or Myst game that will never be.











DOUBLE FUCKIN DRAGON!!!
This is a really good article man. What the hell are you doing writing here!?!?
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Hah, I’m good on two topics: video games and baseball. Maybe I learned something in the film and writing classes at Drexel.
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